(Case in Point) So what about the childhood toys that sucked? In the arts and crafts sector of 90s toys, we can think of nothing on earth that sucked worse than RoseArt industries. Specifically, of course, we are talking about RoseArt Crayons.
Children whose parents were less well-off were forced to submit to their parents thriftiness with the use of the greasy crayons as their primary coloring source. "The Crayons just plain sucked ass," claims Tyler Peterson, 20-year old resident of Tomah, Wisconsin. "They were soiled in grease to the point that your fingers would turn colors even through the paper on the crayons." The labels of the crayons were also made of wax, meaning that when the crayons broke in half the paper could hardly follow suit, leaving you with several pieces of waxy, unlabeled shit (see below).
After hearing these and other heartbreaking confessions, it was very difficult for us to say anything positive about the RoseArt brand, it's developers, or their immediate families. In fact, it saddened us to learn that Rose Art is STILL the #2 manufactuerer of crayons worldwide. But, we also learned, the Rose Art execs haven't been wasting their time as a constant runner up to Crayola. They have developed a niche market of their own:
Yes, that homemade candle spells "Love".
Hmm...what's something else our hippy demographic will want their love child to have on hand when they're high?